I burst into The Wandering Wench Tavern.
“I have it!” I exclaimed and all gathered around. I slammed a weathered parchment down on the table as Bergen brought a Lantern to The Table to illuminate what I was spreading out over the table.
“I have spent more than 40 YEARS looking for this and piecing this back together! IT’S FINALLY DONE AND TOGETHER!”
As you peer over the table you see... A Map.
“It’s a Treasure Map,” I said. “Like none you have ever seen before. And this one... This one is OLD... And Sacred... And it begins With The Bridge.”
Read The Bridge Here.
“But...” spoke up On-Looker #1. “It’s just a Story.”
“Incorrect!” I said. “The Story is a Disguise. The Container of The Map! Some Treasures are so Powerful, so Desired, and so Important that a traditional “Treasure Map” attracts all The Wrong People. But Book and Story -- as it so happens -- REPELS the very same Blackguards who would use This Treasure for Evil.
“So what better place to Hide The Treasure Map to the World’s Greatest -- Most sought after, Most Famous, and Most Powerful Treasure than in a Story?
“So this one begins with A Single Story... The Question is, which One? There are MILLIONS to choose from that span over 100,000 Years... And I FINALLY FOUND IT!
“The First Story is “Pinocchio” and “The Bridge of Three Billy Goats Gruff.” From there, The Story Connects you to Loth and The Quest For Avalon... Which provides you with “The Magic Beans,” which can only be Grown as you Quest For Avalon! The more The Magic Beans Grow, the more The Quester becomes “A Real Boy!” or... Velveteen Rabbit!
“But! In order to Grow The Beans, you have to head to Oz! So Loth directs you “Over The Rainbow--”
“The Rainbow Bridge,” said On-Looker #2.
“Like The Bridge of Billy Goats Gruff... It was The Rainbow Bridge they crossed that was The Troll’s Bridge then,” said On-Looker #3.
“Yes!” I said. “Loth directs you Over The Rainbow Bridge -- The Troll’s Bridge in Billy Goats Gruff -- into Oz where you can Begin The Journey along The Yellow Brick Road through The Quest For Avalon! That is where you get The Great Story, which Plugs in the rest of The Story!
“Look!” I continued. “Tolkien already Mapped out The Whole Thing! Wizard of Oz tried, but... It was out of Order.
Loth’s Castle is “The Inn At The Prancing Pony,” which is The Castle of The Wicked Witch of The West!
Munchkin Land is Rivendell where you receive The Great Story! Which follows The Quest For Avalon Registration!
“From there, you have to Journey to The 3rd Degree of Comprehension INSIDE The Story, which uses Alchemy and Storiology to reveal The Location of... The Rest Of The Map!”
“Lothlorien,” said On-Looker #1.
“EXACTLY!” I said. “IF ONLY I could Find “The Door To The Bridge,” which I found IN The Three Billy Goats Gruff!”
“So The Treasure Map is hidden in Fairy Tales and Story Books,” said On-Looker #3 peering over The Table.
“Yes!” I said. “EXACTLY! The Right Story will Activate The Next Ousia! I only ever was missing The First Story! And I FINALLY FOUND IT!”
“Which is Three Billy Goats Gruff,” said On-Looker #2
I sighed with relief. It was done. It was finally over. And now it could begin.
“Yes,” I said. “Here.”
And I threw down the other Two Maps.
“The Bridge will take you to Loth. Loth will provide you with EVERYTHING you need to Map The Way.”
“NOW... we can begin.”